Friday, January 20, 2012

Just call me Solomon

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Top: Forever 21/GW ($3), Jacket: Jessica Simpson, NWT/GW ($5), Jeans: Lucky Brand/GW ($5), Shoes: GW ($3), Bag: Fossil/GW ($4)

TOTAL: $20

I wouldn’t blame you for sending out a search party to recover my dead body. I know I’ve been AWOL lately, but here I am again.

Posing.

Smiling.

Carrying that bag that all of you keep begging me to send you when I’m done with it.

I’m getting the impression that I could made a fair bit o’ dough if I were to auction it off…

Of course, at least two of you would hate me forever, if you didn’t get it.

And there is only one bag after all.

So, maybe I should pull a Solomon and start hacking the bag to bits and sending scraps of it to each of you who loves it so.

Of course, to fulfill that scenario, the truly deserving woman would need to then selflessly declare: “No! Just GIVE it to some other girl. I can’t bear to see it chopped up!”

And then, of course, I would send it to her Express Mail with a Target gift card inside to show my appreciation for her extraordinary self-control and giving spirit.

And then…

Wait a minute…

Why are you all staring at me with that hungry, expectant gleam in your eye?

It’s a hypothetical scenario, folks!

The bag stays!

(Ooooh, I’m evil).

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